I wanna be a psychologist eventually, and this is something I"ve been thinking about for awhile.
I'm sure everyones read artist problem comics and whatnot. A quick search on tumblr and you'll know what I mean.
And I know I haven't been active on this site the past year or so, but I still browse here and there. I just have a terrible situation haven't had internet in eons, and in this past week I am now homeless for a moment and couch surfing.
But I'll tell you this, I am probably less depressed than half of you on here. (Or at least all the artists complaining in comics...yeah you get what I mean)
I've always thought, and I was there the whole 8 years that I drew. Being manically depressed and dissasociated from 'normal people' as all you guys like to call them. And all the while I hated myself even more because I was turning out to be just as much of a herbit crab unsuccessful loser just like my piece of poop dad.
But since a lot has changed in my life, and guess what. I"m fuckin' badass alright.
I haven't drawn lately, not only because of lack of space and equipment, but because I realized you don't have to have just ONE skill. That seems stupid to me now.
Since I've been indulging in becoming a jack of all trades.
Psychology major. Like I said. Ok.
Talent is not real, I don't care how good you fuckin' are. It's not talent. It's skill.
And every time you sleep at night, your brain reboots. Refragments like a computer does.
Ever here that saying if you have a problem just sleep on it. decide what to do in the morning.
YEAH. because your brain, or sub-conscious what the fuck ever, doesn't HONESTLY know what reality is, and what it takes to survive.
SO when you practice something over and over, your brain will get the message that
"Oh maybe we need to be able to do this to survive" So when you sleep it refragments. Try again in the morning. Much easier.
I"ve tested this out so much.
I first learned to draw at grade 7. I then picked up guitar at 19 (learned all fundamentals within a year) and picked up some piano.
Just this past year I've learned drums, speed rapping, programming, and got back into meditation.
OK. So when you think you can't do something. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
If you have negative thoughts, stop being a pussy. Learn to shut yourself up. And guess what that's called.
Learn to do it standing up, walking, drawing, taking a shit. etc.
Meditating is just listening, not thinking, and realizing nothing fucking matters. So why not be happy.
And don't tell me your life is hard ok.
I am homeless.
I have been in jail for five days.
And I"m still having a good time, and am optimistic.
EVEN THOUGH, I work a full time job at a pizza restaurant. I'm not depressed when I work even though it's not my dream.
You know why?
Because I fucking grew up, and I think that maybe what most artists are still dealing with.
Thinking I'll never accomplish my dreams blah blah blah.
But get this. Hardly anyone does, and not everyone could. Someone's gotta work at McDonalds bitch.
Someones gotta be at the register when you buy your stupid pencils and crap, but yet you don't appreciate that because artists are stuck on themselves too much if you ask me.
Which brings me to the point I really wanted to bring up.
Is why I realize as an adult, was why I got into drawing and comics in the first place. An escape from my stupid ass childhood and pathetic parents.
But dissasociation is ADDICTING. and if you ask me.
One of the worst addictions you can have. And everyone with a tv or phone is addicted to it, that's just one side of the fence with it.
At least what I know so far, there's three sides to dissasociation.
Watching Media - (weak)
Creating your own media obsessively - (Strong)
and then there's physically dissasociating yourself from your body and reality either with DXM or Ketamine. (various strengths)
But I was 'addicted' to DXM for a couple months last year. SO believe me when I say I've been on ALL sides of this fence and understand this pretty well.
BUT WHAT I"M TRYING TO SAY IS.
Dissasociation is bad for you. It makes you subjected from reality, people, and everything else. and it makes you not appreciate the world we do live in.
Instead wishing we all had superpowers like from dragonballZ.
Next time you go outside.
Breath. Appreciate you have working lungs. working legs that let you walk. And a mind that lets you read these words. Because nothing else is important if you can't feel it.
So appreciate existing. And each and everyday, DO something.
Stop watching TV. Put down video games and you cell phone apps. And if your dissasociated from doing art so much that you look at yourself as different from other people, that 'normal people' view.
STOP THAT. Please. I use to have it. I use to be shy and believed I'd never be able to express myself around people. That I was different.
But I"m not. Your not. People are just people, and in the end all anyones trying to do is laugh and have a good time.
So we're all the same, and we all can change.
Everybodys' just too focused on their single frame.
but in the light of Day. When your minds awake.
Breath a little bit for oxygen intake.
Just be in the moment.
Don't settle just home it.
cuz everyones on their track that they thinks all off whack
but what's a track without back if you cry and dont bone it.
don't cry bout insecurities.
challenge it 'stead of being victims that bleeds.
Every situation passes if your not on your knees.
Cuz' you know as they say.
WHen you man up to be brave.
Every teacher comes by when the students ready to listen.
So get off your mind because it's shittin' and pissin'
On all of everything that you think you've been missin'
but your not. You can rock, put your hand up and kiss it.
Hope that was inspiring. and didn't piss anybody off.